Paul_Scheer

Fuck Gene Hackman in Crimson Tide Marry Gene Hackman in Hoosiers Kill Gene Hackman in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Here Are My Top 10 Reasons I Love Abercrombie and Fitch... 1.) I love going to clubs but I hate their lack of cargo shorts. 2.) I can't get enough techno 3.) Salespeople who DON'T want to help you. 4.) They save energy by using the least amount of light possible. 5.) Great place to meet pedophiles. 6.) I need everyone to know exactly where I got my T-Shirt (A& F Lacrosse Rules!) 7.) No uglies! 8.) Did I mention the Cargo Shorts? 9.) Best place to buy clothes before a Date Rape 10.) Com...

Last Week My Mom and Stepdad Came to L.A. to Visit. We Spent a lot of Time in the Car Together. Here are the Top 5 Things My Mom Said While We Drove around Town! 1.) "Paul, let me ask you something when they make those films (re: porn) are they really erect or is that simulated?" 2.) "You know who I like? The Black Eyed Peas. But ONLY that one song!" 3.) "Is this the gay part of town? The guidebooks says, we'll know when we are in the gay part, but I can't tell&q...

Since I'm guest blogging this week at Funny or Die, I figure I'd let you know a little bit about me. FACT 1: I used to work atMEN HEALTH MAGAZINE HERE ARE SOME ARTICLES I PITCHED THAT WERE TOTALLY REJECTED BY THE EDITORIAL STAFF....